When I cut alcohol out of my diet last year, I never expected my weight loss to be this drastic. I imagined that I might shed a pound or two, but as I usually only drank once a week, I figured that the impact those Friday night sessions had on my waistline must be fairly limited. However, six months have gone by, and I'm 10 pounds lighter and down a dress size.
Friends constantly ask for my "secret," my diet, the name of my Spin instructor. When I tell them I simply gave up gin and tonics, they look at me askance. Look, I tried dieting, I trained as a circus aerialist, and I did a 90-day yoga challenge, but nothing has been as impactful as simply not drinking alcohol.
I knew my relationship with alcohol had become a problem last summer. I never drank every day or even every other day—it wasn't the frequency of my drinking that worried me, it was my reaction to it. When I took that first sip of my long-awaited Friday night gin and tonic, I felt this huge surge of relief, like the long exhale you make as you sink into the sofa after a long day. The muscles in my face relaxed, a smile broke out on my face, and I could let go of all of my problems for as long as my drinking session lasted.
Drinking lowers your inhibitions and allows you to make all the bad choices you want. "I was drunk!" you joke the next day when you wake up in a full face of makeup, holding a honey mustard-smeared chicken tender.
Like many other millennials, I deal with a lot of career frustration and stress. I send job applications out into the world every week and only occasionally hear anything back. It's like shouting into the Grand Canyon: Is anybody out there… there… there? When a reply does ping into my inbox, I open the email warily, waiting for the point in the message that explains there's no money attached to the project, but it will be "great exposure." Of course, not only does exposure not pay the rent, you can die from exposure. But drinking allowed me an off-switch from thinking about my career—it was an easy (albeit unhealthy) fix.
I've also found that my head is constantly planted in the future—I have a hard time living in the present. But when you go to the bar or dive into that post-booze delivery pizza, I guarantee you, you are present. You aren't thinking about the past (and all your mistakes), and you're not thinking about the future (if you were, you might consider the pain of the impending hangover). No, you are only focused on the moment at hand.
When I realized that I was living in the present when I drank, I started to explore how I could use the idea of being present to actually aid my sobriety. If I could stay in the moment day-to-day—instead of storing up all of my problems and then releasing them in a drinking binge (and maybe subsequent eating binge)—I could work through them as they arose, chipping away at my issues piece by piece, rather than letting things get out of control until it all felt unmanageable.
Presence of mind was the key, as it turned out. I learned how to take a breath and consider what I was about to do. It sounds so simple, but if you just take a moment to think about whether or not you need to drink or eat a huge slice of pie right now, your choices may change. Sobriety clears your mind and allows you to react more calmly, with compassion for yourself and others. Curious to try it out for yourself? Here's what to do—and expect.
1. Tell your friends (or they might think you're avoiding them, not booze).
Drinking is woven into almost every social activity. When I made the decision to embrace sobriety, I ended up turning down a lot of events that I knew were going to be big boozefests—I missed my friend's band performing and skipped Friday night cocktails. Soon, I began to feel lonely. I hated missing out. Plus, I was keeping a secret from my friends.
So tell the people you're close to. You don't have to say you're doing this forever, and you don't have to admit to being a raging alcoholic, but let them know that you're taking some time off from drinking. Start with baby steps, because small steps are easy for everyone to accept. If you and your friends think this no-alcohol rule is only a short-term thing, it will be easier for everyone to get on board.
If you decide to continue with your sobriety, you can do it incrementally, maybe another week, maybe a month... and soon you'll just be the friend who doesn't drink. No big deal.
2. The sugar cravings will surprise you.
I've never had a sweet tooth—cheese has always been my food vice of choice—but when I stopped drinking, I suddenly experienced severe sugar cravings. Alcohol contains plenty of sugar, but more than that, drink mixers are often off-the-charts sweet.
Bearing in mind that your recommended daily sugar intake is about 50 grams max, learning that a single vodka-and-cranberry juice can contain 30 grams of sugar is a little devastating… and let's face it, who is just drinking one of these on a night out? I thought I didn't have a sweet tooth, but in reality, I had a big one—it was just being satisfied by gin and tonics, not cupcakes.
Sugar affects the brain by raising dopamine levels, the same chemical that is released when we drink alcohol. Dopamine is often referred to as the "reward chemical" because it creates feelings of well-being, so when you stop drinking, your brain is suddenly depleted of this feeling and seeks it elsewhere.
Personally, I don’t think you should worry too much about this sudden desire for sugar—in my experience, indulging a little bit can be good for you. Be gentle with yourself and eat the occasional cookie, if it helps you. I eat a reasonably healthy diet, and my sugar imbalance sorted itself out in about a week, although this could take longer depending on how much you drank and your fondness for the sweet stuff.
3. Don't be shocked if you feel some pushback.
When I told one of my friends that I wasn't drinking via a text message, I didn't hear back from her for over a week. When she did reappear, she explained she found this news hard to digest as it made her question her own choices with regards to drinking. This is not uncommon. Whenever you make a lifestyle choice for your benefit, it can hold up a mirror to other people's choices.
I remember when a friend told me she was becoming a vegan, my initial reaction was to mock her and roll my eyes... but then I considered why I reacted that way. Why should I care what she chooses to put in her body? It dawned on me that her choice to avoid meat and dairy was shining a light on the foods I chose to consume. I had responded poorly to her choice because I felt it reflected badly on me.
So I encourage you to allow people time to deal with their own feelings about drinking. Any bad response you receive has less to do with you than what's going on with them.
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